Kyle Painter is a pretty grimey kid from a shady area of Florida that got good really fast with a few set-backs. Like his teeth, friends banging his mom, and bad luck with fire and trees. It still to this day amazes me he was kicked out of school, actually caught red handed, fingering a girl. Here you go, I tried to get some answers…
So Kyle, the questions will go back and forth, answer as gnarly as you want, ask me questions, fuck it…Not sure how to start this interview, maybe with a banger or work up to it? Which would you prefer?
Banned 3 -better off dead trailer!!! from Banned Vids on Vimeo.
Kyle decides to not answer this one. So I might as well ask him how he grew up in a fucked up area called Pine Hills where you gots ta thug to survive.
So are you a towny? what is up with crime hills?
yea i was i crime hills head for 18 years of my life but now i moved way out into bum fuck mount dora but i mostly spend my time at the trails and have the best time with the littlest amount of money possible lol
What the dick goes on in Mount Dora? You find some skank to bang?
there isnt shit to do that y i live like a rat at the trails hahahahaha
there isnt really any skank action out here either cuz they all got babies
Speaking of bangin, rumor has it that your long dong has a partial foreskin, care to explain?
yep i do have a forskin and the ladies love it
One time you were pretty hammered and passed out in the fire at the trails house. Did it feel warm like a nice blanket? Also, tell everyone about the towel stuck to your back for weeks.
yea well it all started out at the great mesh parties
and since i was and still am underage i was sneakin beers from the keg all day but chad would take them from me and say i couldnt drink then it all led to the trails were there’s always alot of alcohol and and fun and fire and friends we were all hanging out and mr. degroot had a pretty big bottle of sky vodka
i was all ready hammer drunk and he felt bad for taken my beers all day so he handed me the bottle and said bottoms up i proceeded in takin an oblivion seeking chug later i was seen stublin around dangerously nere the fire and bare foot stompin all over a matress that was previously burned everyone was wachion me all night cuz i almost fell in the fire alot then people looked away for 1 sec and boom im in the fire they pulled me out rather quockly and colt and debbie proceeded to doctor my ass colt was just wipen skin off and debbie was losion m whole ass all the way to the hole i woke up the next day with vague memories of the night before but a fuck ton of 3rd degree burns on my ass and lower back
then a few days later i was out and drinkin again i couldnt were my pants rite so i had a towl wraped around my ass next thing you know the towl was fused to my back end i didnt know how to get it off but i didnt care cuz i was wasted again later on in the night we were leavin and my good friend justin was aguin with my drunk ass about shotgun lol a few words were exchanged and next thing you know the towl was ripped off of me good thing i was plastered cuz it woulda hurt like a mother fucker but i tghanked him cyuz thats the only way i would have ever departed from that towel any thing else you want to know?
like 8th grade, baco, road trips, nights at the trails ect.
Kyle then emails me the best shit ever, the one question that should have been the only question for this interview, how did you get the name “Finger Painter?”
well i guess we can start with the incedent that gave me my long running nickname “finger painter”
ok so i was a bad kid in school to begin with idk how old i was then like 14 maybe and i guess that made a couple girls panties wet lol
so they came up to me and started tellin me they wanted to do it in the bathroom but the weay the school was set up that woulda more impossible then what i did they kept tellin me all they wanted to do but i had my last period in math with them and we had to do a group project so we 3 paired up and proceeded to pretend to do our work i had a hand down ones pants then the other before long i was double handin it
did it for about 5-10 mins then the teacher herd a lil noise and walked over she saw what was goin on and fliped shit she said what the fuck do you think your doin? i said they sloe all my pencils and put them i n their pants she kicked me outa the class so i just left
the next day i came in and in 1rst period 2 cops came in the class and got me the school said i was malesting them and i ended up on probation for a year and a half for 2 counts of lewd and lasivious malestier but they wanted it more then i did cuz in court they said they didnt want to stop me =]
ok now on to the party shit hahahahahaha
every year im at baco of coarse im always there cuz its my local park and bacos one big party all weekend
i always dress thepart cuz of coars its on holloween one year i was a pirate one year i was a mexican and the last year i was i silly prep dude know from the show tim and ecic as the beaver boys im wasted 100% of the time at baco and im always runnin around givin beers taken beers and generaly bein an ass
this past year i acualy tried to ride(drunk) didnt do so good but i was siked to be around alot of friends i dont get to see al the time
this year there was a 5 foot kicker in the parkin lot and everyone was haven a good time on it but i decided to take it one farther and parked a golf cart behind it i went balls out hauled ass at it jumped over it and landed and my left hand blew off and went straight to thjroat on my bars now i still cant make high pich noises hahahahahahahahahahahahaha
ive only been on 2 big road trips the first was from mission to tannessee with rusty, bryce ,chris hughs me justin andidk i think a couple othere
it was quite wild involving a 80 mph fire work war in the van and someone put a pack of crackers down rustys back while he was driven and we ended up goin sideways down 75 goin 85 hahahahahaha and we got this chick in tennessee said we could stay we got there and it wasnt hapening so we camped out in her rv i fell a sleep and bryce just got done talkin about god with everyone and rusty smaked the shit outa me to wake me up and i stod up shook my head and shouted i want to see the babys weiner (i have no recolection of the event) hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
the second one i just got back from with ricky colt pk and daniel(columbien)
we went to tallahassee for a week atlanta for a week jersey for like 4 hours and then phillie for a week then we hit baltimore for a coupkle days then richmond for a day then greenvile for a couple days then athens for a few daysd then made it back home rite before the trail jam were things were wild
on this trip alot of shit got done includin shady ass motels were as soon as you get in the room someone will call tryin to sell you drugs or a hooker from oanother room i had a forgie with my friend gary in phillie lived on nuthin for about 2 weeks after i ran outa money on the trip like 2 wekks into a month long trip we had alot of fun i had a lil scufle and we just got drunk and and smoked the whole time
the trails now ive never had so much fun anywere else in my life i donmt even know were to start with the things ive done there
ive lit people on fire been lit on fire been knocked out there broke countless bottles over peoples head spray paint flamthrowered everything
lit almost every person whos come theres hair on fire at one point had numorous ladie enconters there i pretty much feel like everyon ther grew me up tp be who i am and idk if they like it all the time any more hahahahahahahahahahaha
its riden all day out front then you can hang out go to eat with everyone and then come back and throw a giant party mostly on saterdays tho
but youll get thos random weeknight partys
but theres allways a fire and theres sometimes a show and its always a great time with the greatest people on earth and id truely have to thanks all of them for everything ive done weve done some ones done cuz that shit is pricless
You seem to go on a lot of road trips, how do you swing that? Sell your ass on the road?
ill go on lil mini trip around the state
but if i go out the state i usauly got to make money before hand
otherwise i just try to hustle shit3rd degree burns are nuts, all from drinkin.
How old are you? Do you ever drink with your mom? that is who you live with right?
i just moved way out to mt dora wich is like an hour from the trail;s so i like to come out and spent atleast the weekend the and the week at my home with my mom but im always tryin to leave and go drink fight and fuck hahahahahahahaha
me and my mum tip a couple back here and there but she doesnt really like to suport my drinkin lol
You mentioned what i want to know, like 8th grade, baco, road trips, nights at the trails. Fuck ya, tell me everything. Pretend were 8th grade school girls staying up all night talking about our deepest darkest secrets. Let it flow.
I love that finger story, you know that name is stuck for life, at least its a good story. Hell ya. Do you ever have girls that want to be fingered by you cause your the famous “Finger Painter”? Do you really have a foreskin or is it a partial helmet? Does it scare the ladies?
well ive had girls come for me cuz of what they herd from thier friends lol ive had them say i here your good ive goten random calls and voicmails sayin that they want to meet and hook up cuz of what they herd about me i know how to show you a good time ladies
You fell out of a tree at the trails, how did that feel?
yea a few weeks ago i got realy really drunk went to go smoke up in the “treehouse” i geuss i was stumblin around and just fell out 20 feet up
all they herd was aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh thud hahahahahahaha
arron walk over to me and was like r you ok and i was like uuuuuuuhhhh yea
the next morn i didnt know what happened and i was reallysore and had a cut on my eye
Lets talk about your tatoo. I know you have one, are there more?
yea i have tats, rite now i have 12 or how ever you want to count then
my first and only one with a gun is a beer cap and cross bones on my forarm all the rest r pic and pokes, i have bmx mom party on my arm
a shark,crass,destroy,and a skull with 666 for eyes and nose on my left leg
i have chaos,an upside down cross,fun crew, and a bob bomb on my left leg
i have hate on my heart
and i have BC on my left hand