Korea/Taiwan
Woke up mid flight to the flight attendant serving beverages. Couldn’t tell if it was a boy or girl. Tried to get a pic. Other flight attendant started laughing when she figured what I was doing.

Boy?

Girl?

What a game they play, and such pretty hair.

Almost like a horse.

He/She
10 hours in, 4 movies, 20 min of sleep, and 6 hours to go. Blazing headache and could use a beer. Guy next to me is snoring and has slept the whole trip so far. Even my loud ass farts won’t wake him up.
Got in a bus, 2 hours then another bus 30 min. Hotel is sweet, no shoes please.

Korea hotel
The event is called Leisure Games ran by the Korean government till 2030. There are chickens and rabbits right next to a fucking sweet park course.

bunnies

So hot and steamy. Can’t stop leaking.
Rode practice, good ass course.

Leisure games course

So much shit is going on, like the state fair. Wildness everywhere and people handing out bibles like crazy. I know a guy who sells them online. eBay son. Need to bring a few home for him. Others are wearing miss American type banners that just say “GOD” really big.
Took a nap then woke up 6 hours later.  Fuck it. Found a wild skater and he paid taxi to go downtown.

Nick

Wild scene, drink on the streets and drink a lot. I am starting to talk real shitty cause all day we talk to Koreans who don’t speak great English, sorry my writing is crap.

Korea-Taiwan 21
Ate spaghetti today and it never tasted so good. Then off to judge flat. Tons of Japanese entered, so many dudes. It went pretty smooth. So much pumping going on. Guess I am a celebrity in Korea. Many pictures hugging sweaty men.
Back at the hotel with a sore throat. Not good. Last night out, gotta roll the dice.
We stayed in the lobby and scared people. Brumlow would stop people and ask what the sign I was hiding behind said. Then I’d fucking jump out and scare them. Shit was to funny. Video coming soon.

Fucking Brumlow can’t sleep so he wakes up early as dick. Sick of the all-you-can-eat buffet, but… Gots ta eat right? Powerbars come in real handy later in the afternoon.
Park comp gets rained out, so they focus on flat. Put it under a tent. Fucking wild shit going down. Mathias, Vicki, and Moto running shit. For sure the year of the pump. Pretty good shit judging. Thought it turned out good.

winners

Just gotta get paid and tear my bike down. Off to Taiwan tomorrow and 3am comes real fast. Somehow were 40 miles from the airport and it takes almost 3 hours. Gonna be a wild day tomorrow for sure. Met some really fucking cool ass Japanese dudes. Good times. Would love to make it to Tokyo again soon.

Korea, JapanKorea-Taiwan 43
We Goto the store and watch some dad buying his kids vodka drinks. They are chugging the shit. Seems fake, but then the kids, which are ten years old, start doing really drunk shit and laughing uncontrollably. Good dad for sure. Cheap entertainment I guess. Doesn’t help Brumlow is trying to get the kids to do whisky. They say “only beer”, guess they forgot they just slammed blue vodka. Vid coming soon.

Korea-Taiwan 11
2 beers deep, might have to run it tonight. But want to get my fee for judging. This is where it gets weird real fast. Picture taking off your shoes, signing a sheet and waiting for your name to be called all in a shady hotel room. They take one person at a time to basically interrogate why they should pay you. After a few arguments with the bouncer type dude, I get a conversation with the boss who is part of the government. Fuck I am pissed now, need to get up in a few hours to bus two hours to Seoul airport. So I come back and finally argue that I need sleep and my fee NOW. Go into the private room and they all stare at me and count off a few bills off the pile of US Dollars. Serious pile. We argue a bit, I stuff the money in my pocket, then they all smile and call me BMX legend and proceed to take personal pics with me shaking my hand.  Fucking weird shit going down. Bed time finally, for two hours. Side note, brumlow never finishes a beer. There must have been 10 almost full beers randomly around our room.

Brumlow
More free wifi at the airport. Loving life cept there is a typhoon near Korea. Fffffffuck.
Get off the plane and on the high speed train, cooking real smooth.
Get in a taxi and dude just keeps telling me how he loves Chinese and Japanese woman. Must have said it five times. Then he stops and takes out a marker and writes on his hand “sex” and below that “love”. He keeps tapping LOVE. I told him he can love to have sex. “No no”, “just love. Then he tells me no American or European girls he can love.  He doesn’t “sex”, just love. Fag. No tip.

Taxi tons of shit
Get to the sweet ass hotel Yang booked for me. There is a bonsai type garden on the roof, full coffee bar, and most importantly wifi.

Fullerton Taipei

Did some good walking through the city looking for the Break Brake bike shop, trying to avoid thousands of scooters. Sounds like a swarm of bees. After 3 taxis and walking the wrong way a few miles, I get there, do some beers, then eat some amazing Chinese food.

BreakBrake

Drink some funny beers and I am out.

Funny beers
Do you read or watch the news? You probably know it’s pretty depressing. US shit isn’t shit. Picked up the Taiwan Times and scrolled through it making me realize my life is good, and better if I don’t read this shit. US pulls out of Baghdad but has to go back and help cause lapses in security. Dudes shooting everyone then blowing themselves up. Typhoons near Korea. Pirates Ron Japanese tanker. Floods in Australia and Pakistan. New Zealand earthquake.  Forest fires in Russia. Iranian widow sentenced to be stoned to death for adultery. But, Columbia has the worlds shortest man. He hasn’t grown since he was 2 years old. He was quoted as saying “I feel happy cause I’m unique”. Yes you are. He now has an acting role which he plays a pint-size drug thug. Fucking gangsta shit son.
On the high speed train to Taichung with my agent. Pretty glad we are taking the train. Get to see the country side and wild ass little towns. Were fucking booking over 200mph. So smooth. Driving around these parts is shit. Not gonna have to do it. Sweet.
Went to my frame manufacturer. Holy shit. Shit is so nuts man. Nuts. My lips are sealed.
They are trying to get me to eat squid. Guess when they cut the tentacles they keep crawling around for 30 minutes. When you put it in your mouth it will suction to your tongue. Pretty sure it’s gonna put up a fight all the way down your throat. Fuck, think I just ate a ball, not sure what kind of animal. Balls in my mouth no homo?
Just left the next factory. Fucking A. That’s all I gotta say. Lips are sealed again. Only here one more day. In and out. That’s what it’s all about.

Factory
This month they burn money. Yep you read that right. There are little fires burning all over the place. It’s for the people who passed away. The burned money is sent up to them to use. At first I thought they were really burning $. Then I realized they burn piles of paper that is printed to look like Taiwan dollars. The government doesn’t want people to do this, but it’s a tradition and flames are all over, cant stop them all. Even at the temple. place was all smoked out.

Burning money
Now we eat again. City is big. Bustling and hustling. So full from lunch but my agent wants to dine me again. Can’t say no can I? Suit and tie type din din with Japanese beef, lobster, and some wild side dishes. No room, but I don’t want to be lame. So I stuff it in. Maxed out now. Stomach is gonna burst.

Good food
Humidity is 100% at all times. I didn’t wear shorts so I am constantly marinating. Last day in Taichung then off to Seoul for the night and finally back to the States. Can’t wait. Trip was to long and I miss to much about home. Would love to be able to sleep, pretty sure that’s going to be a challenge.  I have been waking up every hour since I got here.
Next factory. Gave them my idea, will be till the end of the year for sample. Come on, whip it out…will ya?
Done now in Taichung, pretty excited to be in some ac. Seems like I never stopped sweating. Would love a beer right now or some Wild Turkey. Sippin on sum syrup. Right now I start my two day trip home.
Almost home, on my last layover. It is true, humans in the US are pretty big. Maybe it’s just atlanta? Long trip, can’t wait to sleep for a couple days.

Here are a few more random pics from the trip…

Korea-Taiwan 4Korea-Taiwan 3Korea-Taiwan 5Korea-Taiwan 7Korea-Taiwan 33Korea-Taiwan 34Korea-Taiwan 49Korea-Taiwan 42Korea-Taiwan 58Korea-Taiwan 10

Here is a short list of some tweets coming from this GUY

Why don’t you go ahead and follow? These are just a few. Some get better and some get bad. But at least I am not putting any Aaron Ross tweets like “I am gonna bake a cake.” Fuck, I just put one. Sorry.

Sounded like a duck execution

Say a racial slurr to enter

I am gonna be black for saturday

Unsolicited naked cockness

My name is Lola. That means stick it in my ass.

I met my dad at the bathroom…he just finished. Kinda awkward

“I am a grandmother, I can smoke pot now”

See nearby tweets, this one is priceless http://tweetphoto.com/29041514

Just peed in the toilet n brushed my teeth at the same time…finally got a electric toothbrush

Just became friends with miracle whip on facebook. Don’t tell that white sass that it’s just sass

I am gonna put my iPhone in one of those goodwill dumpsters

“I want an area rug made of the pubic hairs of virgins”

Ying ling, good Chinese beer

“I was on acid hunting those wooden deer”

“I wanna Jack u off with my mouth”

There are clowns in my coffee

Letters form words , education tonight

Tell me what this says ?????????????????????????(????)????????

“my phone is not in my eye”

Guess I pissed off the king with a tweet. Guess who the king is and win a boner…

Soap noose

Must be nice to be able to fit yer hand to the bottom of a pringles can

Some people have some fucked up jobs. I drink beer at work n give myself wedgies

Gonna go fuck the wife now

I just saw sears on facebook. Fuck I ya I have a boner n gonna be friends with sears…

I had meth dreams last night, n snorting snowballs, you would mix them together, cause it’s wet

What if there was a commercial that you’ll go blind if u use the other persons contacts?

We were doing it n my head started bleeding

“If my ass could do what a punch ball does…” wife quote #2

“Why not 2 in the pink n 2 in the stink… Like star trek”

Every once in awhile both James and me will be away from the shop. This one Sunday Greg worked for us at the shop and we got a session in…it was about 100 degrees out and the poop plant had a breeze that gave us a buzz. If you ride this park, make sure if the wind is right, you enjoy the fumes from someone elses ass. James knocked out an ice fakie and ends it with the dubs to 180. Chad threw in some work and still does slidaz… Continue reading

Been at the beach for a week and didn’t plan ahead to update this site. Sorry. It was a blast and trust me your gonna want to see the video I shot…

Till then, eat some free food. The video below will show you how. There are other versions of this, but you can use your  mind and put some fast food out of business. Get some burgers and the shits…

Continue reading